How honest appreciations can save the world from depression.

Let's travel past in time to our school days. What was the feeling you had when the whole class clapped and appreciated you for something you achieved? 

Didn't you feel like a king standing there with a huge smile on your face? Can you imagine that? Weren't you simply flying in joy? You would have carried that smile throughout the day. 

But as we grow, why do we fail to make honest appreciations? 

Is it that we have grown jealous looking at other's growth or the ego in us which is holding us back? 

The psychologist William James said, 

"One of the deepest desires of human beings is the desire to be appreciated. The feeling of being unwanted is hurtful"

 Expensive jewels are not real gifts; they are simply apologies for shortcomings. Many times we buy gifts for people to compensate for not spending enough time with them. 

Sincere appreciation is one of the greatest gifts one can give to another person. It makes a person feel important. It can be a great motivator. 

Appreciation, in order to be effective, must meet these 5 thumb rules:

1. It must be specific:
If I tell someone "You did a good job", he might get confused as to, "What did I do good?". But if you say, "The way you handled that difficult customer was great", then he knows what he is being appreciated for.

2. It must be immediate: 
The effectiveness  deteriorates if we appreciate someone six months later or even a week later.

3. It must be sincere:
 It must come from the heart. You should mean every word. It shouldn't be a flattery. An appreciation comes from the heart, but flattery simply from the mouth. 

4. Don't qualify praise with a 'but': 
By using but as a connector, we erase the appreciation itself. Use "and", "in addition to that" or some other appropriate connector. 

5. After giving an appreciation, don't wait for a return compliment: 
 Some people are looking for a compliment in return. That is not the purpose of appreciation. 

Even if you are receiving appreciation, accept it graciously with a "thank-you". 

A sincere honest appreciation is never going to cost us anything, but it can mean the world to the other person. It motivates him to grow into an amazing human. 

Ultimately " Your appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary"

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